Dziennik Agnes Z, 02 lut 24

Much better! 

Sorry for being so uneducated, but my espresso shots would be an example of unfiltered coffee correct? I wonder why unfiltered coffee would be so negative for cholesterol I don't add sugar or anything to it... well shucks I hate to be on the naughty list for anything. 😅 cool chart 📉 really gave my eyes a work out though you should have seen me trying to go back and forth trying to actually puzzle out the picture my phone's not cool enough to make the image expand I don't have the app to click three times to expand the image like my husband does and for some reason the formatting wouldn't allow me to expand the image like it would normally. 🤷 

Sorry, Leah. If you go to my journal and see the post with my original botched attempt to show this, I provided there the link to the article this image came from. You can see it much better there if you go to the article itself. And sorry about the bad news about the espresso! 

So I went to the original article I was able to see the picture although not much better than yours honestly but that's okay no worries articles interesting I did some extra digging. It looks like in most cases that I'm okay as long as I don't exceed three to five shots of expresso on the average day I should be fine. And yes some days I do indeed exceed that amount I do lean on my espresso shots pretty heavy but my only other option is to request even more fatigue medication from the doctor, and since it's a controlled substance I feel awkward doing so. He has said that he will up my medication dosage but I really hate taking more medication also like I said it feels weird just asking "hey Doc. would you mind giving me more controlled substance" nudge nudge I don't know it just feels weird. Now looking on other websites about this information I found out some really weird information apparently guys have a lot worse time of this than girls their cholesterol goes up almost double what girls goes up with the same intake weird right. But it looks like almost all of my diet is on the good side with the exception of my espresso shots so I'm going to attempt to reduce my intake as much as I can I need to do so anyways and honestly I should contact my doctor I've been having a lot more fatigue issues that I should compared to the amount of energy expenditure I'm putting in. At first I attributed it to the holidays and doing all the rearranging of the house and the cleaning and the extra work I keep putting in at my job but at this point I'm going to have to admit to both myself and the doctor that I think it's something extra. 

I did really like the article though I thought I had a lot of good information I did think that they used a lot of anecdotal evidence and I say this because when I read into it they didn't use a standardized measure for the expresso shots in any of the studies and apparently in the different studies they use different sizes and different places for espresso shots. Also in many cases the individuals were asked to self-report which is always a risky endeavor versus put into a control group and forced to eat in front of the scientific observer in a controlled setting but all of these studies are very difficult to achieve and of course funding is also difficult to obtain so we of course have to take what studies we can get. But I did very much enjoy the article I find pure studies and scientific articles very interesting to read if sometimes a little wordy and I have to look up some of the findings to understand some of their findings. Thank you for sharing what you found. 

Leah, I was myself surprised by finding coffee on this chart. Maybe this is a bit more recent research and we should wait for more confirmation. Not idea why unfiltered coffee would have so much more of an effect than filtered. If you enjoy your espresso, have some and maybe switch to filtered coffee for your second or third cup if you’re worried about LDL.  

I switched to tea about a year ago and have lowered my bp and feel less tense. I went from drinking 800 mg to only 200 mg a day. I stopped completely for awhile but came back because it’s part of a ritual on the morning I enjoy 

Ken, I think I'll try to switch to tea, but my coffee habit is so strong now, I'm not sure I can do it. Those morning rituals, they are hard to break. Part of the joy of waking up every morning. 

Well part of my problem is that I really have a decision to make am I going to trust Ryan to support his part of the bills. And that sounds really bad I know it does but in the past I have always been the breadwinner and I mean that always in the 22 years we've been together there have been many times in which Ryan has made mistakes in fact Ryan will be 3 days late on his rent this month. Not because he doesn't have a higher pay rate and doesn't technically make more money per week each week he just has a hard time managing his paycheck and bills honestly when I manage his money over time he resents me for it. Because yes I have managed his money for him over the years many times and I do so with great accuracy but it causes trouble over time with our relationship so I back off. In addition in order for me to have more energy I will have to change jobs. And I have attended this job nonstop without any change for 12 years and I feel quite comfortable I have security I have four weeks pay vacation I have invested status in my job which means they give me additional investment opportunities for my retirement fund so it's it's quite a change if I do change jobs but never come benefits if I change jobs and have a better pay rate I would have an easier job. 

But I recognize that in order for me to have an easier job I need to change jobs. I love my boss but he will never recognize that I need an easier list of job chores. Even though my position does not include many of the chores that I do he requires me to do them because I am willing to do them and I do them proficiently. In addition he doesn't require many of the tasks that I do of the other employees in fact many of the other employees do not perform their job requirements of their positions and it becomes so apparent that they don't justify the amount of Labor that we're spending on them to the point that technically many new employees out perform them but we have to work them anyways because their contracted to a certain number of hours. I have a hard time not working to a certain worth ethic standard and so I have a tendency to overwork myself because of this I typically cause my body damage that I can't outperform the only way that I'm going to stop this is to work at a different location I can't stop myself from working at this level I've tried it's just not in me to work at a lesser standard since I can't get my boss to work other people to a higher standard and the job requirements are not going to change that is the best option. I just have to convince myself to take the leap of faith and actually change jobs trust Ryan to do what he needs to do and that finances will be where they need to be. So when I get my taxes I'm going to take that leap of faith so that I have that cushion. That's the only way I'll be able to kick my coffee addiction because at this point coffee is how I'm surviving 

Leah, it sounds like your boss is taking an advantage of your work ethic and that you work more and to a higher standard than other people. Before you leave your job, it may be worth having an honest conversation with your boss that you feel that you are doing more than others relative to your compensation, and ask for a promotion or raise. If your boss values what you are doing then maybe that’s worth a shot? You could stay at the current job at higher pay. Or maybe if you feel someone’s work is being shifted to you, that’s also something to try to address, to try to keep your list of tasks crystal clear and doable. Though, I don’t know, maybe you are really looking forward to just moving on from your current job anyway. It sounds like coffee is important to your work so it may be hard for you to limit it. At least in this current job. Make sure, though, it does not mess up your sleep!  

Agnes you do you! Never hurts to mix things up though.  

My boss is a weird of how much more I do than the other guy but there are a few things that keep him from doing much about it one of them is the Joey's just a great guy. He doesn't want to fire Tony honestly. To quote Joey he thinks that Tony is a burnout and that he is only fit for being a greeter cognitively and physically at this point he said. In addition he doesn't want him to receive unemployment if he fires him. He thinks that we should just work around him and continue on as usual. The problem is I'm just not physically capable of doing that anymore it hurts, it's not just that it's unfair it physically hurts me to do it and I don't just mean my body I don't want to keep missing out on activities with the children because I can't do them when I get home cuz I don't have the energy to do so. It's not fair to them and it's not fair to me. I have a hard time saying no to people when they need me I understand that that is a me problem people aren't able to take advantage of me if I don't let them I like helping people I've always liked helping people and when I see people in need I I feel the need to help them I just do I know that's dumb I don't need to help strangers, I don't need to help people or animals when they don't ask, hell sometimes people don't even want my help but I need to help them as a subconscious thing I just do. The only way I'm going to get away from the problems that are there at work is to remove myself from those problems physically speaking I mean. But I have concerns one of those concerns is I'm worried about the health and safety of my customers I have an invested interest in the lives of the people I serve I know that sounds goofy to a lot of you but I know those families hell I've seen a lot of those children grow up they're no longer children they're adults some of them have children themselves at this point. If I don't clean those things those equipment pieces they are going to be covered in slime mold, black mold, that food is not going to be kept to the proper temperature, it's going to be allowed to be out of date, I'm not going to be able to keep people honest they're going to redate things, they're going to use things that shouldn't be used that have been left out, I really do worry about the safety and health of my customers. 

Another issue about my type of work is that the corporation is no longer allowing us the time needed to get things done with the amount of people and ours that it takes to do them. Not only are we running on a skeleton crew constantly we don't pay people for the experience that we require to run these positions. I stay in the position that I'm in because if I go to a better paying position it will pop my medical card. What a lot of people do not realize is just one of my medications costs $86,000 plus dollars per year I take over eight medications currently and they're talking about putting me on more I've declined upping some of my medication dosages. If I didn't have a medical card there is no job that I qualify for that could pay for my medications. So thank you taxpayers I appreciate all of you I really do not only do I work hard to earn all of you and the efforts that you pay for for people like me it irritates me that I'm stuck in a dead-end job and have turned down jobs that were willing to pay me $4 more on the hour because that would destroy my medical card and therefore prevent me from receiving my medicine that would prevent me from going blind. Because the doctor say that if I don't take this medicine they cannot prevent me from going blind at this point and since I now only see out of one eye it's something that I'm very concerned about.